Slipping away...

I still can't believe it's the year 2020!!! A lot of people will be reflecting on their life and they'll be pretty pleased with what they've accomplished, me on the other hand, I just think about how my life is slowly slipping away. I'm 36 and have a debilitating disease and because of this disease I can go nowhere by myself and when I do go our ( to the gym) I have to get someone to drop me and pick me up, for a person who used to go out when SHE wanted to and just go for walks whenever I wanted to this is a lot to handle!

I have Ataxia, it is a horrible disease that robs you of your independence, I am slowly losing my ability to walk and going to the gym can slow the progression but ultimately I will lose this battle and I'm not handling it well. Like I said before I go to the gym but that's about it I don't really talk to anyone and when I do go out my "friends" hardly want to talk about how I'm feeling so I have to pretend to be happy because no one wants to hang out with a depressive!

I spend nearly all my time at home which may mead to less falls but what my family don't seem to understand is that the less I walk the faster this gets worse. I just feel so hopeless and the only time where I feel slightly happy is when I'm asleep because I can walk properly in my dreams and this has just lead me to be very sad to wake up.

I feel as though my life is slipping away, I mean what kind of life is this??